You’re married, so why are you hiding the ring?

21 Feb

I recently had a friend tell me that a guy that she was talking to told her that when he got married, he didn’t plan on getting his fiance a ring.  After all, what matters is the love that he has for his future bride, not the outward expression of a material symbol.  Well that is an interesting theory, 🙂 and I hope he has luck finding a girl who will buy into that!lol.. ;p  I later told the friend that this guy still had some learning to do – in marriage, you won’t always understand WHY the other person wants or needs something, but you can still meet that need because it bring them joy.  Maybe he doesn’t need a ring, but if it makes his future bride happy, (and is not causing him pain or trauma,) then why not compromise and bless her with the ring that will bring a smile to her face?

I don’t always understand my husband, and he sure doesn’t understand me all the time.  Men and women are different, (as most people know.)  And even further than gender, we all do things our own way, and that’s OK.  My husband hates it when he comes down the stairs, and I say something like, “Gabriel, daddy’s going to feed you because mommy has to go to work.”  Instead, my husband would rather me just ask him to feed our son.  And that’s fine with me – while I don’t agree, I can still make little changes to keep the peace in our relationship.  It’s not hurting me to rephrase a request, so why not bend a little, (just as I want my husband to bend when it comes to my feelings and needs.)

But back to the original idea of being married and not wearing a ring, let’s take it a little deeper than just the bond between husband and wife.  The Bible says that we are the bride of Christ, (and yes, that even means you men.)  We are to have a deep relationship with Jesus just like a deep martial connection.  A ring is a symbol of our union with our spouse, just as our godly lives should be a symbol of the fact that we’re God’s children.

If you’re married, I bet that most of your friends and co-workers know.  And if you call yourself a Christian, do others know that too?  Or are you so mean that no one would ever suspect?  It’s not just about what we say.  Anyone can say that they’re a Chrisitan.  But does your life reflect it?  I’m not saying that you have to be all wierd and walk around speaking in tongues and casting out demons.  You don’t have to be ridiculous about it.  But the word says that they will know that we are Christians by our love.  Do you love those around you?  The fruit of the spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self control.  Are these fruits evident in your life?  Sure, we’re all working on being more and more like God, but those around you should at least be able to see a few of these fruits.

On Sunday, the Pastor talked about living a life that was set apart.  The Bible tells us that everything is permissable, but not everything is beneficial.  That means that just because something is not a blatant “sin” does not mean that we have to do it.  One example that the Pastor mentioned was drinking.  Sure, it’s not going to send you to hell, but if you’re struggling with getting drunk, stop drinking.  God wants us to be sober and clear-headed so that we can pray at any time.  If you’re out at the bar throwing back shot after shot, you may say that you’re not drunk, but are you really clear headed?  Would you really be able to help someone who might need a friend to pray with them and offer advice?  We should clear headed enough at all times to be able to pray for and help others.  Saturday night is no exception.  I’ve had friends text me on Friday, Saturday and Sunday nights asking for help, advice and prayer ranging from situations as diverse as their husband abusing them, advice on what to do b/c they just cheated on their boyfriend, or prayer b/c they just got in a fight.  When you are really living for God, people will come to you for advice.  But if you’re not sober-minded at all times and ready to be used by God whenever needed, you’re doing them a disservice.

Please understand that I’m not picking on you just because you choose to drink.  Maybe you can handle your one to two glasses of wine and call it a night.  And no one should judge you if that is the case.  But maybe you’re like someone else I know…the minute they get a drop of alcohol in them, the conversation turns highly inappropriate and all about sex, sex, sex! 🙂 …and mind you this person NEVER mentions sex while sober.  Don’t get me wrong…sex is good, but here’s the scary part about alcohol and some people – if it turns you into a totally different person, it may be time to rethink if it is smart for you to drink.  But again, I’m not picking on drinking.  It could be anything that draws you away from God, or does not help your relationship with Him.  Again, the Christian life is not about rules.  It is about a relationship with God.  And if you really love God, you’ll do everything that you can to please Him, meaning even re-evauating some things that you do which really don’t help your relationship with God.  It could be anything that draws you away from Him.  It’s not about giving up your fun.  You can still live 100% for Jesus and have a great life.  As a Christian, you can have fun, joy and peace because you have a higher purpose – you know that you were actually created for a reason, and not just from some random big bang.  You know that God created you for a special reason in His image, and your life is worth something.  You have a renewed sense of being.

Think about your life right now.  Is there anything that you are doing that you think might be compromising your relationship with Jesus?  Please note that I didn’t ask if there is anything that you’re doing WRONG – I asked if there is anything that you’re doing that is not helping your relationship with Jesus.  Maybe it’s something as simple as overeating.  If you love food like me, that’s just fine, but the Bible does tell us to avoid gluttony, (which I am also working on.)  If you are called to the mission field to work in the jungles of Africa sharing the gospel by foot, you are going to need all the strength you can get.  That extra 40 pounds may not be a sin, but it sure won’t help you if you’re too tired to share the word by foot if that’s what God has called you to.  You can still eat all your favorite foods, just remember to also eat healthy, exercise, and to eat the sweet treats in moderation.

Or maybe you think that living a Christian life isn’t that serious, and that as long as you just go to church every now and then and pray over your food, you should be able to slip into heaven.  But did you know that the Bible says that many on the day of judgment will say, “Lord, Lord, we prophecied in your name and cast out demons in your name,” to which the Lord will reply, “I never knew you.”  If you were to be honest with yourself today, does God really know you? Or are you just going through the motions of being a “Christian” because you were taught to go to church on holidays and say that you believe in God?  There’s more to it.  God says that he would rather us be hot or cold, and not lukewarm.  The Bible even goes so far as to say that if we are lukewarm, He will spit us out.  God wants your whole heart, not just lipservice for two hours on Sunday morning.  If you call yourself a Christian, God wants you to mean it.

Maybe you don’t think you need God.  You have a great job, lots of money, and your youth.  Hate to break it to you, but the economy will probably get worse.  More jobs may be lost.  Don’t make God show you that you need Him.  He showed me that I needed Him when I thought I could do it without Him.  Get yourself right with God before your circumstances force you to call out to Him for help.

Today, evaluate your relationship with God.  Are you truly living for Him, or are you just putting on a really good act?  Jesus loves you and He wants a relationship with you.  It’s not too late.  Open that Bible, start praying, and start really seeking God.  He’s not mad at you.  He just longs to know you.  He loves you.  So love Him back.  🙂  You won’t regret it.

Be blessed!

**The books done and I’ll be done editing by the end of Feb.  Yay!  Pray that it will get into the hands of every person who needs it!!


I would love to hear what's on your heart! Please play nice, as comments which are negative or abuse in nature will be removed. This is a place to uplift and encourage, so join in if you'd like! :). Blessings!

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