Marriage and Kids vs. Success?

30 Mar

So first of all, let me tell you that I am happily married with kids, (so the title in no way means that I am running away from my family and joining Ringling Brothers circus.)  🙂  But I think that this is an interesting idea to think about.  I have had so many people tell me that they are avoiding marriage and kids because they want to advance in their careers first or move up the corporate ladder and become rich before settling down.

I will admit that I used to think like that too…partly.  🙂  I always knew that I wanted to be married and have kids from the time that I was a little girl. I also wanted to be a CEO and have a corner office too, though!lol…  But when I found love at 21, I wasn’t scared of getting married for fear that it would somehow slow down my success.  Sure, it can be harder to do certain things when you have a husband or kid to think of – you can’t just go teach in China for a year when you’re breastfeeding and taking care of babies.  You can’t just up and move to NYC b/c you’re bored where you’re living – you have to run it by your partner of course, (at least if you want to stay married, you should.)  🙂

But it also doesn’t mean that having a baby will automatically cancel out any success.  If anything, having kids and being married forced me to take a good hard look at my finances.  Money wasn’t just something to be made – it was needed to provide a better life for my kids and myself.  Now, it wasn’t just about buying myself things, but saving so that my kids could go to college, go on missions trips, and have the security of a place to live.  Being married and having kids made me work even harder.  It made me get closer to God, and want to be a better person so that my kids would look up to their mom.

There are exceptions to every rule.  Sure, marriage and kids may mean less freedom in certain ways too, but it doesn’t mean that you’re all of a sudden “tied down” from having any fun or accomplishing things.  I know of mothers and wives who are successful and fulfilled, and singles who struggle to make ends meet or achieve their dreams, (and vice versa.)

Let me encourage you if you think that your life dreams can’t happen b/c you had a kid and weren’t married, are single and wishing you were accomplishing more, or feel like b/c you’re married with kids, you won’t be able to finish that degree or find success.  God has a plan for you regardless of your circumstances.  If God wants to use you, (and you allow Him to,) you will find success regardless of how things look on the outside.  Please don’t fear marriage and kids – yes, it will take some maturity and compromise, but don’t believe the world’s lie that having a family means your success stops.  And if you’re a single mom, you can still do amazing things – love people and be passionate and intentional about achieving your goals – passion and excellence in your craft will take you a long way.  And if you’re breastfeeding and changing diapers, don’t assume that your life is over – many stay at home moms have started million dollar at home businesses.  Don’t limit God or put Him in a box.  Half the time He is just waiting on us to put our fears aside so that He can launch us into the next success that He wants us to have.

Remember that there is no one path to success.  Let go of the “stereotypes” that you may have had regarding marriage, being single, or having kids or not.  If God’s going to use you, your single/married status, or parent/non-parent status will not stop Him! 🙂

~Seven more pages and I’m done editing the book..finally!! 🙂  Follow my blog if you like it!

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