Are you a “fake” friend?

12 Jun

Here is a picture of my son (the cutest boy to the right of the girl in the yellow and all his little friends at the gymnastics award show.  When we’re kids, everyone is a friend.  Even the girl we’ve known for 30 seconds at the playground.  Sometimes this carries over into adulthood as well, but is everyone really a “friend?”

I have two kinds of friends.  I have those that I know I can trust, and those “friends” that can count on me, but I can’t count on them.

I think that the best kinds of friends are those that aren’t just telling you their problems all of the time, but they take the time to ask if you are all right.  They don’t just complain to you about how horrible their lives are; they want to know how you are doing too.  They don’t get off the phone once you have solved their problem, but they actually support you when issues arise on your end too.

For a long time in life, I only had friends that I could help.  I didn’t mind helping them.  As Christians, we are called to help those in need and be a listening ear.  But I found myself becoming discouraged b/c there was no one who could pour into ME.  There was no one who could understand what I was going through and help.  Of course, I could always pray to God about it, but I really desired even just one person that I could confide in me who had some good advice for me every now and then.

Well, the word says ask and you shall receive, right?  So I began praying for friends.  Now, I have too many “deep” friends to name.  While I would caution against telling everyone your business, (because not everyone is a friend,) I would encourage you to pray that God gives you some good friends that you can trust and confide in.

Now, my life is overflowing with people that I can confide in.  Although I’ll admit that I rarely do…lol…  I am so used to being the one that helps others, that sometimes it is hard for me to reach out.  But I’m working on it.  🙂

If you want friends who will go “deeper” with you, pray for them.  God will send them for sure, just like He did me.  He loves His children, and just like any good father, He will meet our needs when we ask with a pure heart and a desire to be a blessing to others.  We are blessed to be a blessing to others.  It’s not selfish to ask for good friends.  Having friends that you can confide in will bring you peace and joy, and it will make you an even better witness of Christ’s love.  So go ahead and ask for real friends, but remember, even if your friendship is one – sided, that’s OK.  We need to be helping people too, even if we aren’t getting anything out of it.  But it’s still OK to pray for “real” friends too.

Be blessed!

The book is due out in the Fall of 2012. 🙂

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12 Responses to “Are you a “fake” friend?”

  1. ~Manda June 12, 2012 at 9:10 am #

    I have been praying for good friends for years too. I think I have some now, my problem is I’m an introvert by nature. So, allowing the friendships to blossom and grow by opening up to them is a bit of a challenge for me now. I think because I come from a huge family I’ve never learned how to be open and vulnerable with people outside of that comfort of family……But, now since they live super far away I feel the older I get the more I do desire to just put myself out there to be that Godly friend to others as I need it as well at times. Thanks for this post and GREAT reminder!

    • lholmes79 June 12, 2012 at 9:22 am #

      Thanks! I was also very close to my family and confided in my mom a lot, so I had to learn to reach out to friends too. Good luck as you learn to confide in your real friends – I am still working on this too! 🙂

  2. Crystal @ Serving Joyfully June 12, 2012 at 4:57 pm #

    I have struggled with this same thing! Still waiting for the completion of God’s bringing about people to fill that void, but I know He will.

    I had to comment on your post because my sons participate in gymnastics as well…so excited to see another boy doing it 🙂

    • lholmes79 June 12, 2012 at 5:42 pm #

      I pray God brings you those “deep friends” that you can safely pour your heart out to. 🙂 My son loves gymnastics! He will also be doing creative movement in the fall too, and pee wee sports when he turns three. 🙂

  3. Mandy June 13, 2012 at 9:06 am #

    Love it! =)

    • lholmes79 June 13, 2012 at 1:49 pm #

      Thanks for taking the time to read it! 🙂 Blessings!

  4. Sherri June 15, 2012 at 9:24 pm #

    I too struggle with this. My best friend is my hubby. 🙂 Then only a small handful of individuals that I would actually confide in. I am more the ‘helping’ friend than the one that asks for help.

    • lholmes79 June 15, 2012 at 9:48 pm #

      Me too! Your hubby will always be your best friend. 🙂 At this point I have a handful that I could confide in too, and I do to some extent, but I agree, hubby is best! 🙂

  5. Theresa June 16, 2012 at 12:47 pm #

    wow, two for two…awesome posts! I try really hard to be the best friend I can be. For me, this sounds awful, but I pick and choose friends. i am selective. i would rather put my energy into a mutual relationship than have someone zap my energy.

    • lholmes79 June 16, 2012 at 4:19 pm #

      That’s right Theresa! 🙂 I don’t let people dump either! There is a certain point at which ppl are draining your energy, and that is energy that could be used to do something for God. Great point! 🙂

  6. Latonya June 18, 2012 at 4:45 pm #

    I love your blog! Each post I have read is something that I can make a connection. I too, prayed for real friends, and am so blessed that He has placed some great people in my life 🙂

    • lholmes79 June 18, 2012 at 6:41 pm #

      Thanks Latonya! I am going to hop over to your blog too! 🙂 I always pray that God gives me the exact words to say or story to tell for that day! I just have to work on not saying tooo much!lol..glad that God has sent you great people in your life. That is really a testimony of God’s faithfulness b/c I know there was a time when I also did not have very many people in my life. It’s such a blessing to hear that so many have great friends that God’s put in their lives!

I would love to hear what's on your heart! Please play nice, as comments which are negative or abuse in nature will be removed. This is a place to uplift and encourage, so join in if you'd like! :). Blessings!

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