Are you an over-protective parent?

13 Nov

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

While I am in no way a parenting expert, (I’ve only been in the game 2.5 years..lol,) ๐Ÿ™‚ย  I’m always interested in finding a balance between being over or under-protective.

Here are a few rules that I have when it comes to my kids:

1. You can be my best girlfriend in the world, but you’re not watching my kids unless I know and trust your husband too, (and no unknown visitors are allowed in the house while my kids are there.)ย  I’ve heard horror stories of children being abused by a boyfriend/husband of someone they were staying with.ย  You never know.ย  Every time you leave your child around someone you don’t know, you are gambling their safety.

2. On the other hand, I don’t have trouble letting my kids experience a new class, activities, hobbies, etc.ย  I believe that social interaction is very important.ย  For example, during gymnastics,ย my son has to learn to wait his turn, to say sorry when he mistankenly bumps into another child, and to listen to what the teacher says.ย  All these are skills that I believe will help him to become a better person.

 

 

 

 

 

What about you?ย  What is your parenting “mantra?” ๐Ÿ™‚

Bottom line: we all have different parenting styles and ideas, and that’s OK – the important thing is that our kids are safe, protected and loved! ๐Ÿ™‚

Blessings!

The book is due out in the Fall of 2012. :)

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8 Responses to “Are you an over-protective parent?”

  1. Sylvia November 13, 2012 at 4:32 pm #

    I don’t think in this day and age that a parent can be too overprotective!

    • lholmes79 November 13, 2012 at 4:35 pm #

      I totally agree Sylvia! ๐Ÿ™‚

  2. kelly head November 13, 2012 at 4:33 pm #

    I’ve struggled with this same idea for a long time too (well, my oldest is 6.5, so since around her conception it became a topic of conversation lol). I’ve always been fearful because of horror stories – abuse etc. at the hands of friends and family. People I’ve loved whose lives were forever changed. But i heard an awesome message on it just last week. I think it boils down to being spirit led. My natural inclination would be to just say no. if i say yes to one, then i have to say yes to all or put my children in an awkward position (ok, or myself either). (yes to one slumber party etc. means have to say yes to all or tell that one “no” why not.) but the truth is, it’s okay to say yes sometimes. Or, we risk the legalism that will push our kids eventually to want to LEAVE our homes. But, like you, im also going to KNOW the people well before it is ever okay. Where i have spent time at their home etc.. Too, preferable to me is that my home be the home all the kids want to come to. I actually see it as my ministry. Is it work – yes, their little crumbs and fingerprints get EVERYwhere. :). The work serving them little snacks, picking up toys (my kids are little) can be a headache. But, somewhere i purposed that my house would be that place of safety. I want my kids around and know they also want community, so, let it be in my home. It isnt even a nice home right now. We live in campus housing for the time being. But home is what you make it and the decisions start now, while they are young. For me, I’ve seen what a blessing it has been to have all my little crew around. Too, there are a few parents I’ve come to know and trust, and that also is a blessing to allow my children some independence. They have to live life and learn to make decisions LIVING – we cant shield them from everything or they may not be able to handle life at some point. (Not saying danger type things) but just allowing normal issues to arise and deal as they come too. Sorry to write a book. A topic that has been brewing in my mind too!!! I’m planning to write on it some in the near future too:). Thanks for the post!!! GREAT!

    • lholmes79 November 13, 2012 at 4:39 pm #

      Thanks Kelly – you can write a book any time you want!lol…yes we are also big on hospitality. We love the idea of having friends over, showing them Christ’s love, and all that good stuff! Nothing better than a big, fun party in my book. ๐Ÿ™‚ Yes; luckily God has sent us some amazing people that we have gotten to know, (both husband and wife,) and we are comfortable letting our kids stay with them only b/c we know them and are both friends w/the parents – one couple we even trust enough to take our kids for the whole weekend, etc. And being spirit led is sooo key. Not only do I have to know and trust the parents, but I have to feel that peace in my spirit too regarding both people, (b/c looks can be deceiving.) It was great to hear your ideas too b/c your kiddies are a little older than mine. Blessings! ๐Ÿ™‚

  3. Jamie November 13, 2012 at 6:57 pm #

    I totally agree with this. It’s funny… in HS I had a friend who’s mom would not allow her to spend the night at my house, she was allowed to hang out but not spend the night. The reason was because her mom didn’t know my dad. At the time I felt that was crazy and *I* felt personally attacked… but now that I have kiddos of my own? I get it. I try not to be but I am super paranoid when it comes to my girls. However, I do believe you can be too paranoid and, like you said, it all comes down to that spirit let peace.

    • lholmes79 November 13, 2012 at 9:42 pm #

      Hey Jamie, thanks for commenting! Yes; I was also that girl who was never allowed to do sleepovers unless my parents were friends with both parents, so I’m taking after my parents on this one too. ๐Ÿ™‚ I could go to the party but not stay over. Since becoming a parent, I have heard stories about kids being molested by step-fathers, boyfriends, and even grandfather’s, so that is why I have a rule of knowing both parents and having no visitors at the house while my children are there. I also believe like you all are saying in God’s peace too in determining who to leave my children with. One of our close family friends was just like that – I immediately connected w/the wife, and met her husband at Bible study. He seemed so nice and smiled so easily, and I had their family over for dinner. We hung out and talked for hours about everything – how we met our spouses, God, our college days, being parents, and just laughed the whole night – I watched as he was loving and tender towards his two girls, and I saw first hand what an amazing Dad he was. These are the kind of men I want my kids to be around – men who are good father’s, put God first, are gentle and loving with their kids, and love their wives. I believe that we can see that best when we spend time w/people, getting to know their true character. ๐Ÿ™‚ Blessings!

  4. momstheword2008 December 9, 2012 at 7:24 pm #

    I was careful with my children too. I was abused by a neighbor boy and I never wanted that to happen to my children. We rarely allowed sleepovers, it was almost unheard of. If we did allow it, it was only because I totally knew and trusted the parents.

    We were careful about many things such as no hanging out at the mall with friends, and no going to the movies with friends without an adult present. Our kids seemed to do just fine with it (they are now adults).

    But we hung out with other families and so we’d all go to the movie together and they loved it. Or we’d go as a family event thing. I just never though leaving kids in a public place unsupervised was a good thing.

    • lholmes79 December 9, 2012 at 11:12 pm #

      Thanks for sharing! I also believe that we can never be too careful, and I love your suggestions of making social events involve the whole family, and never leaving kids in public places unsupervised. Our children are so precious, and yours are lucky that they have such a keen and godly mama. ๐Ÿ™‚

I would love to hear what's on your heart! Please play nice, as comments which are negative or abuse in nature will be removed. This is a place to uplift and encourage, so join in if you'd like! :). Blessings!

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