Tag Archives: godly marriage

Why I’m Sticking with My Husband

3 Sep

easter 1

So I was getting ready to write a post about healthy eating, but I felt the need to go in a different direction. 🙂  I just finished a book for new brides and married women, but I’m waiting till the end of September to release it after I attend a writing conference in a few weeks in case I get any more pointers.

It seems to be wedding season, and I’ve recently gone to lots of beautiful weddings of both friends and family.  My husband and I just made eight years of marriage this year, and at almost ten years, I feel like we finally know each other, and I pretty much know what he’s thinking even if he doesn’t speak.  We’ve been through the newlywed growing pains, kids, job changes, expectations that were and weren’t met, and dealt with both good times and bad times.  I think back to my wedding and how I wanted the day to be just perfect, not realizing that the wedding day would go by so fast, and then I actually had to know how to live with and get along with this new person 24/7.  🙂

So if I could share anything about marriage with married people, whether newlyweds, singles, or those who have been married, it would be this.

  1. Your spouse doesn’t complete you.  If you were happy before them, you’ll be happy after them.  If you were sad before marriage, you’ll be sad after marriage. Getting married won’t complete you – you should find wholeness in Christ.  Putting the expectation on your spouse of making you happy isn’t fair.  Marriage will teach you about yourself and refine you, but nowhere in the Bible does it say that your spouse is meant to complete you.
  2. Choose your battles wisely.  Some (small) things – you just have to let go.  I kind of look at it the same way that I look at my employees.  If they do something wrong, I try not tell them right then, and micromanage.  If it’s something I need to go over, I’ll make a note of it and tell them the next day.  I don’t want them to feel like I’m a dragon breathing down their necks!  🙂  ….same with my husband.  If there’s something we need to confront, I’ll do my best to ask myself if I’ve added to the problem, if it’s a good time to discuss it with him, if it’s a large issue that needs to be confronted, or if it’s just something small that annoys me that I really don’t need to be upset about at all.
  3. The grass isn’t greener on the other side.  With the recent Ashley Madison scandal, it really became obvious to me that a lot of people are looking for satisfaction outside of their marriage – I am not judging them b/c we have all made mistakes, I’m just saying that it made me think.  My thing is, if I’ve already invested eight years into my marriage and have children and home, I’m going to fight to make my marriage work.  I married a wonderful man.  Yes; we have our differing opinions sometimes, but so does every couple – no two people are exactly alike.  Instead of going out and cheating, I would rather try and work things out with my husband, build our marriage, spend time as a family, and work on things that need to be sorted out.  I have no intentions of ever leaving my husband, but just for rhetorical purposes, if I did, the new person might have some qualities that my husband didn’t have, but my husband would still have things the new person didn’t have.  Why start over?  No one person is ever going to meet your needs 100% of the time – stick with the person God gave you, make your marriage better, and enjoy the spouse that God blessed you with! 🙂  (I am not speaking to issues of abuse or cheating – I am speaking to those who have good spouses but are considering wandering..)

I could go on so I think I’ll do a part two and keep going to till the book comes out.  🙂  Stick with the partner of your youth that God blessed you with!  If you are thinking of straying, think of what attracted you to your spouse to begin with.  Light the fire again!  🙂  Get help if need be, get off the blogs that showcase perfect marriages, talk to real people who have good marriages, read marriage books, and try and put yourself in your partner’s shoes.

I wanted to share this Hillsong worship song “I Surrender” with you all – it’s about surrendering to God in every area!

Blessings,

Lauren

day 1

Lauren is a wife, mother, Jesus-lover, Blogger, Certified Life Coach, Professor, the owner of a Spanish Immersion Christian preschool, and the owner of Lauren’s Lathers, an organic beauty company, (making her own home-made Soaps, Scrubs, Shea Butters, and more!)  She is excited to soon be starting her Professional/Master Esthetics Certification Program this Fall to eventually open a spa for women that will offer a variety of Spa Treatments for the whole woman – (Microderm, facials, waxing, makeup, massage, spray tans, etc.) along with Life Coaching.  She loves Zumba, Pilates, soaking worship, dreaming and goal-setting, the beach, chocolate, berry smoothies, travel, and spending time with her friends, family and children.  Her life’s mission is to be happy, to help others, and to spread God’s love, as well as to be an Author, Motivational speaker, Consultant and Coach – her first book will be available soon at the end of September.  : )

Advertisements

Date Night with the Hubby – Part One

5 Sep

IMG_7567
Last night, I left the babies with grandma and grandpa, and went on a date night with my husband. We went to Olive Garden and ate the never ending pasta bowl – it was amazing, and there are even leftovers tonight. 🙂

I have talked before about how important it is to spend alone time with your spouse and get away, even if just for a few hours. Although we have been married for almost seven years and have two kids, I believe that it is SO important for us to re-visit the days when it was just the two of us.

 

pool 1

Yes; we love our babies, but we also love each other, and time alone helps us to focus on each other and rekindle our love. We laugh, flirt, and act like we’re on our first date. We people watch, joke around, and tell each other about our future dreams.

No; we’re not a perfect couple. We don’t always agree on everything. But I think we’re finally to the point where we realize it’s just less stressful to “agree to disagree,” and go on to the next topic of conversation. 🙂 Trust me, we didn’t start out like this, but we’ve learned it over time. It is so much easier just to accept your differences and not get mad over them.

Marriage can be an amazing thing, and it definitely helps to have alone time. That can be after the kids are in bed, or for a few hours after work. Spend time together where you’re not talking about work or bills. Gaze into each other’s eyes and enjoy each other’s company! Never forget what first attracted you to your spouse!

Look out for part two where I’ll talk about the journey of learning to agree to disagree! 🙂

Blessings,

Lauren

If you’re in the Hampton Roads area, I would love it if you joined us for our next “Bride of Christ Women’s Brunch” – food, fun, & fellowship – on Saturday, October 21st – check back soon for the facebook event page! 🙂

http://www.successcoachingandtutoring.com/Women-s-Ministry-Events.html

If you like this post, feel free to follow my blog or to “like” my fan page below.

https://www.facebook.com/pages/Loving-Life/378787838834868

And watch my videos here if you like: :)

http://www.youtube.com/user/TheLholmes79

*** Do you have dreams that you have yet to accomplish?  Do you know what needs to be done, but you can’t figure out why you’re not doing it?  For years, this was me.  I would love to partner along side of you, and help you to come up with a plan to achieve your goals and dreams!   Let’s connect today!

http://www.successcoachingandtutoring.com

Love pretty jewelry? ME TOO!! Check out my Traci Lynn Fashion Jewelry page – our jewelry is cute, professional, fun, and has that BLING factor that we all love!

http://www.tracilynnjewelry.net/laurenholmes

I can’t…I’m a Mom

14 May

breakfast

Recently a friend of mine asked me a question that stuck with me: “what goals would you be accomplishing right now if you didn’t have kids?”

When I heard this, I felt a little sad.

Why do we think we have to wait until our kids are older or grown to accomplish all that God has for us?

mom 1

And while the friend who asked this question has a million and one wonderful things that she is doing, I thought about those who believe the lie that they must put their own lives on hold while they raise kids.

Yes; God has different plans for everyone.  Some are meant to stay home.  Some are meant to work.  Some are meant to do both.

But nowhere in God’s word does it say that because we have kids, we have to put our own goals and dreams aside to focus 100% of all energies on our children.

mom 2

My children are a blessing and I love them.  🙂  That said, I am also raising them to know that just as mommy spends quality time with them, Mommy also spends quality time with Daddy, as well as time on personal projects and work.

Today if you are a parent and are struggling with feeling like you are wrong for chasing your dreams and goals because you have kids, please know that that is a lie.

Your children are not burdens meant to slow you down.  With God, you can accomplish your dreams while still loving your kids and being a great parent! 🙂

mom 3

Blessings!

Lauren

If you like this post, feel free to follow my blog or to “like” our fan page below.

https://www.facebook.com/pages/Loving-Life/378787838834868

And watch our videos here if you like:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W-0aocrSbtQ&feature=youtu.be

https://lholmes79.wordpress.com/2012/06/06/check-out-my-cool-videos-collection-at-lockerz/3

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7oRdKMth_eE

*** Do you have dreams that you have yet to accomplish?  Do you know what needs to be done, but you can’t figure out why you’re not doing it?  For years, this was me.  I would love to partner along side of you, and help you to come up with a plan to achieve your goals and dreams!   Let’s connect today!

http://www.successcoachingandtutoring.com

In need of a fun time away to learn new recipes? Are you recently married and needing to learn the basics in the kitchen?  Or maybe you’ve been married for years, but just want to sample some yummy cuisine while lounging by the pool and jacuzzi? If you answered “YES” to any of these questions, it’s time to sign up for our Brides in Training Summer Cooking Series!

http://www.successcoachingandtutoring.com/Cooking-Classes.html

Love pretty jewelry? ME TOO!! Check out my Traci Lynn Fashion Jewelry page – our jewelry is cute, professional, fun, and has that BLING factor that we all love!

http://www.tracilynnjewelry.net/laurenholmes

Looking for a fun program that teaches kids Spanish through art, music, dance and fun interactive games?  Check out our “Spanish for Kids” classes here!   http://www.successcoachingandtutoring.com/Spanish-for-Kids.html

If you live in the Hampton Roads area and have a business or ministry, I would strongly encourage you to connect with the Shepherd’s Guide at a free lunch and learn, where you will find out how to grow your business, and be seen before thousands!   Partnering with them has grown my ministry and brought me some great contacts.  :)

Have you grown spiritually deaf?

13 May

park 4

 

We all know someone who can quote the Bible from front to back, or who can tell you the Latin, Greek and Hebrew translation of every verse.  Maybe it’s your friend who went to Bible college, maybe it’s someone from your church, or maybe it’s you.  🙂  While knowing and memorizing the word of God is great, the Bible tells us that we should  also truly understand it, (Matthew 13:13.)

 

We see this all the time in relationships too.  In the heat of the argument you might tell your partner, “you hear what I’m saying, but you just don’t understand.”  I wonder if God also sometimes thinks, “wow, my children read the Bible, go to church, sing in the choir, and dance on the praise team, but they’re not taking the time to truly understand my words.”

 

brides

 

This hit me recently when I came across someone who was frustrated with their life.  They could quote scripture front and back, but they weren’t putting any of it into practice.  (This is not to judge, because we are all works in progress in Christ.)  🙂  But in this person’s case, they were still doing things they knew were wrong, but expecting God’s blessings.

 

But that type of behavior doesn’t work with God.  Yes; God will always love us, but as our Father, He wants the best for us.  He doesn’t want us to just act like we have it all together, but to actually understand His word and live it out.

 

gabe prays

 

Let’s not just be hearers of the word.  Let’s go deeper!  Let’s be doers.  Let’s be open to understanding!

 

Blessings!

Lauren

 

If you like this post, feel free to follow my blog or to “like” our fan page below.

https://www.facebook.com/pages/Loving-Life/378787838834868

 

And watch our videos here if you like:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W-0aocrSbtQ&feature=youtu.be

https://lholmes79.wordpress.com/2012/06/06/check-out-my-cool-videos-collection-at-lockerz/3

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7oRdKMth_eE

 

*** Do you have dreams that you have yet to accomplish?  Do you know what needs to be done, but you can’t figure out why you’re not doing it?  For years, this was me.  I would love to partner along side of you, and help you to come up with a plan to achieve your goals and dreams!   Let’s connect today!

http://www.successcoachingandtutoring.com

 

In need of a fun time away to learn new recipes? Are you recently married and needing to learn the basics in the kitchen?  Or maybe you’ve been married for years, but just want to sample some yummy cuisine while lounging by the pool and jacuzzi? If you answered “YES” to any of these questions, it’s time to sign up for our Brides in Training Summer Cooking Series!

http://www.successcoachingandtutoring.com/Cooking-Classes.html

 

Love pretty jewelry? ME TOO!! Check out my Traci Lynn Fashion Jewelry page – our jewelry is cute, professional, fun, and has that BLING factor that we all love!

http://www.tracilynnjewelry.net/laurenholmes

 

Looking for a fun program that teaches kids Spanish through art, music, dance and fun interactive games?  Check out our “Spanish for Kids” classes here!   http://www.successcoachingandtutoring.com/Spanish-for-Kids.html

If you live in the Hampton Roads area and have a business or ministry, I would strongly encourage you to connect with the Shepherd’s Guide at a free lunch and learn, where you will find out how to grow your business, and be seen before thousands!   Partnering with them has grown my ministry and brought me some great contacts.  🙂

You’re pregnant and don’t even know it!

29 Apr

Here is a picture of the ladies soaking their feet at the Brides in Training Brunch this weekend – I could use a foot soak and pedicure right about now too! 🙂  And one of the ladies at our event was pregnant, (and she wanted her foot soak right away, so we knew better than to argue with a pregnant woman!)  Just kidding. 🙂

And speaking of pregnancy, maybe you are not pregnant with a baby, (or maybe you are and I don’t know it..lol,) but I do know that everyone has a dream or God-given purpose in life that they are pregnant with.

Have you birthed your dream yet?

If not, why?  It’s never too late! 🙂

This weekend at the Brides in Training Brunch, so many ladies realized the ministries, businesses, and dreams that were lying inside of them, growing dormant.

They realized that it was time to revive them:  cooking businesses, catering businesses, personal traninig businesses, you name it… 🙂

Take a look at our time together:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Lcwco4QPsVY

What about you?  What dream, goal, business or ministry has God called you to?  Whatever it is, if you’re not doing it already, get started! 🙂 Or if you’re already doing it, don’t grow weary in doing good – keep up the Lord’s work – He will reward you in the end!

Blessings,

Lauren

If you like this post, feel free to follow my blog or to “like” our fan page below.

https://www.facebook.com/pages/Loving-Life/378787838834868

And watch our videos here if you like:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W-0aocrSbtQ&feature=youtu.be

https://lholmes79.wordpress.com/2012/06/06/check-out-my-cool-videos-collection-at-lockerz/3

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7oRdKMth_eE

*** Do you have dreams that you have yet to accomplish?  Do you know what needs to be done, but you can’t figure out why you’re not doing it?  For years, this was me.  I would love to partner along side of you, and help you to come up with a plan to achieve your goals and dreams!   Let’s connect today!

http://www.successcoachingandtutoring.com

In need of a fun time away to learn new recipes? Are you recently married and needing to learn the basics in the kitchen?  Or maybe you’ve been married for years, but just want to sample some yummy cuisine while lounging by the pool and jacuzzi? If you answered “YES” to any of these questions, it’s time to sign up for our Brides in Training Summer Cooking Series!

http://www.successcoachingandtutoring.com/Cooking-Classes.html

Love pretty jewelry? ME TOO!! Check out my Traci Lynn Fashion Jewelry page – our jewelry is cute, professional, fun, and has that BLING factor that we all love!

http://www.tracilynnjewelry.net/laurenholmes

Food, Fun and a Makeover

15 Apr

Image

Recently, my friend won a free Makeover at our March Lunch, Fashion Show, and Beauty Bash.

She was actually helping me out at the event, and hadn’t expected to win at all, so it came as a pleasant surprise.

Danielle, a Mary Kay consultant and friend, came to her house, and did the makeover.

Image

Here are some pictures.

Image

When I talked about the makeover with Rachel, she beamed as she described how much she enjoyed it.

Image

“I got to meet new people and have fun, ad I was surprised and excited when I found out that I’d been chosen for the makeover.  I know that I am beautiful already, but after the makeover, I felt very pretty and good about myself.  It is important to look and feel good about yourself, (both inside and out.”)

Image

It made me so happy to hear that!

Whatever stage of life you’re in, remember to take some time for yourself. 

Even if it’s a bubble bath after the kids are asleep, painting your nails while watching TV, or enjoying a meal by yourself at McDonald’s, take a time out.

Image

 

Or maybe it’s even simpler than that.  Maybe it’s just taking a nap instead of trying to keep the house spotless.

This is not to say that we are to live in pig-pens, 🙂  but that our houses don’t have to be perfectly cleaned 24/7.

So today, I am going to take a time out and nap while the kids nap.  What about you?  🙂

Blessings,

 

Lauren

If you like this post, feel free to follow my blog or to “like” our fan page below.

https://www.facebook.com/pages/Loving-Life/378787838834868

 

And watch our videos here if you like:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W-0aocrSbtQ&feature=youtu.be

https://lholmes79.wordpress.com/2012/06/06/check-out-my-cool-videos-collection-at-lockerz/3

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7oRdKMth_eE

 

*** Do you have dreams that you have yet to accomplish?  Do you know what needs to be done, but you can’t figure out why you’re not doing it?  For years, this was me.  I would love to partner along side of you, and help you to come up with a plan to achieve your goals and dreams!   Let’s connect today!

http://www.successcoachingandtutoring.com

 

In need of a fun time away to learn new recipes? Are you recently married and needing to learn the basics in the kitchen?  Or maybe you’ve been married for years, but just want to sample some yummy cuisine while lounging by the pool and jacuzzi?
If you answered “YES” to any of these questions, it’s time to sign up for our Brides in Training Summer Cooking Series!

http://www.successcoachingandtutoring.com/Cooking-Classes.html

 

Love pretty jewelry? ME TOO!! Check out my Traci Lynn Fashion Jewelry page – our jewelry is cute, professional, fun, and has that BLING factor that we all love!

http://www.tracilynnjewelry.net/laurenholmes

 

A Chat and Tea with Mandy!

11 Apr

Image

I have some EXCITING news – we are starting a new series called “Before marriage I thought…After Marriage I learned…” to lead up to our Brides in Training Brunch on Saturday, April 27th.  There are still a few spots left, so get signed up today! :)

 

http://www.successcoachingandtutoring.com/Brides-in-Training-Brunch.html

But before we hear more on that next week, I am excited to introduce to you all Mandy Dawson, a Lover of Jesus, a Wife, a Mother, a Worship Leader, a Songwriter, and a true example of beauty!

 

What does beauty mean to you?

Beauty is pervasive in our physical world from the sun rising over the ocean to the drop of dew sparkling on a blade of grass in the meadow, or the sounds of orchestral strings rising and falling together or the vision of silver skyscrapers glinting in the evening light.

I find beauty in good morning hugs, the musical laugh of children, and the gentle touch of a loved one. Beauty is boundless and endless. It is God made and man expressed. There is beauty in every single one of us handcrafted by God and put inside us to reflect Him in this world. And while that beauty is reflected in our physical being, our most true and profound beauty is found within.

Love is beauty. Selflessness is beauty. Strength, perseverance, meekness, generosity–all are beauty. Beauty in the world and in humanity compels us to discover our Creator, and when we have found Him, the beauty He sees in us compels us to search Him out and understand the depths of His love for the rest of our lives.

What inner trait about yourself makes you feel beautiful?

Right now, I would have to say love as in “love is patient, love is kind.” Staying at home with my two preschoolers and being their primary care giver 24/7 has really opened my eyes to what true love looks like. I’m constantly in a situation where I can choose to love and selflessness or fall into impatience. When I’m struggling in a situation, you know the kind–100 things happening at once (one kid writing with marker on the floor while the other is asking you to get their pajamas while you are trying to fix breakfast AND empty the dishwasher!) In those situations, all I can say to myself is “love is patient, love is kind” –it’s not that I don’t need the rest of the famous verse, it’s just that by the end of “love is patient, love is kind” these two simple phrases have helped to guide me in the right response. When I am able to choose love, patience and kindness, I do feel beautiful and I am profoundly aware of God’s graciousness and His love, because without Him, (the true source of love,) I have none on my own.

What other feature about yourself do you love?

Light-heartedness. I love to laugh and sing and play! I make up silly songs about vegetables and waking up in the morning. It’s fun to make up games and play with my children. Daily responsibilities often weigh heavily on me and it is a challenge to sometimes let other things go a bit so that I can maintain a light heart–it’s almost never easy when there are dishes in the sink and laundry to be folded. Sometimes, I have to choose to ignore all that (for just a little bit–a whole day of ignoring usually results in even more stress!) and seize a moment to just have fun.

What is one (inexpensive or free thing) you or other women can do to make themselves feel beautiful?

Maintaining the hairstyle that I love has been something that helps me feel beautiful. After my son was born, I spent the next 20 months going without a haircut and sporting a ponytail almost every day. When a dear mentor of mine passed away in her 70s, I saw a picture of her when she was in her 30’s and she had a similar short, cute hair cut then as she did when she passed away. In that moment a light bulb went off in my mind and I looked in the mirror and thought, “What am I doing wearing this ponytail every day and feeling lousy about myself?”

I knew that short hair looked best on me, but I hadn’t found the time to maintain it since my baby’s birth. No more. I think I made an appointment that very day and got a great big chop! The stylist was a little nervous, but I knew it was the right thing, and there has been no going back. I still go with a bit of a no fuss cut–a little mousse, a little spray, a light finger scrunch and I’m on my way! It feels good to look in the mirror and see hair that compliments my face, and know that when I’m 70, I’ll have a few less “what was she thinking” photos to browse through!

Blessings,

Mandy

To learn more about Mandy, feel free to visit her website at:

http://www.mandydawson.com

If you like this post, feel free to follow my blog or to “like” our fan page below.

https://www.facebook.com/pages/Loving-Life/378787838834868

 

And watch our videos here if you like:

https://lholmes79.wordpress.com/2012/06/06/check-out-my-cool-videos-collection-at-lockerz/3

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7oRdKMth_eE

 

*** Do you have dreams that you have yet to accomplish?  Do you know what needs to be done, but you can’t figure out why you’re not doing it?  For years, this was me.  I would love to partner along side of you, and help you to come up with a plan to achieve your goals and dreams!   Let’s connect today!

http://www.successcoachingandtutoring.com

 

In need of a fun time away to learn new recipes? Are you recently married and needing to learn the basics in the kitchen?  Or maybe you’ve been married for years, but just want to sample some yummy cuisine while lounging by the pool and jacuzzi?
If you answered “YES” to any of these questions, it’s time to sign up for our Brides in Training Summer Cooking Series!

http://www.successcoachingandtutoring.com/Cooking-Classes.html

 

Love pretty jewelry? ME TOO!! Check out my Traci Lynn Fashion Jewelry page – our jewelry is cute, professional, fun, and has that BLING factor that we all love!

http://www.tracilynnjewelry.net/laurenholmes

%d bloggers like this: