Tag Archives: godly relationships

Why I’m Sticking with My Husband

3 Sep

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So I was getting ready to write a post about healthy eating, but I felt the need to go in a different direction. 🙂  I just finished a book for new brides and married women, but I’m waiting till the end of September to release it after I attend a writing conference in a few weeks in case I get any more pointers.

It seems to be wedding season, and I’ve recently gone to lots of beautiful weddings of both friends and family.  My husband and I just made eight years of marriage this year, and at almost ten years, I feel like we finally know each other, and I pretty much know what he’s thinking even if he doesn’t speak.  We’ve been through the newlywed growing pains, kids, job changes, expectations that were and weren’t met, and dealt with both good times and bad times.  I think back to my wedding and how I wanted the day to be just perfect, not realizing that the wedding day would go by so fast, and then I actually had to know how to live with and get along with this new person 24/7.  🙂

So if I could share anything about marriage with married people, whether newlyweds, singles, or those who have been married, it would be this.

  1. Your spouse doesn’t complete you.  If you were happy before them, you’ll be happy after them.  If you were sad before marriage, you’ll be sad after marriage. Getting married won’t complete you – you should find wholeness in Christ.  Putting the expectation on your spouse of making you happy isn’t fair.  Marriage will teach you about yourself and refine you, but nowhere in the Bible does it say that your spouse is meant to complete you.
  2. Choose your battles wisely.  Some (small) things – you just have to let go.  I kind of look at it the same way that I look at my employees.  If they do something wrong, I try not tell them right then, and micromanage.  If it’s something I need to go over, I’ll make a note of it and tell them the next day.  I don’t want them to feel like I’m a dragon breathing down their necks!  🙂  ….same with my husband.  If there’s something we need to confront, I’ll do my best to ask myself if I’ve added to the problem, if it’s a good time to discuss it with him, if it’s a large issue that needs to be confronted, or if it’s just something small that annoys me that I really don’t need to be upset about at all.
  3. The grass isn’t greener on the other side.  With the recent Ashley Madison scandal, it really became obvious to me that a lot of people are looking for satisfaction outside of their marriage – I am not judging them b/c we have all made mistakes, I’m just saying that it made me think.  My thing is, if I’ve already invested eight years into my marriage and have children and home, I’m going to fight to make my marriage work.  I married a wonderful man.  Yes; we have our differing opinions sometimes, but so does every couple – no two people are exactly alike.  Instead of going out and cheating, I would rather try and work things out with my husband, build our marriage, spend time as a family, and work on things that need to be sorted out.  I have no intentions of ever leaving my husband, but just for rhetorical purposes, if I did, the new person might have some qualities that my husband didn’t have, but my husband would still have things the new person didn’t have.  Why start over?  No one person is ever going to meet your needs 100% of the time – stick with the person God gave you, make your marriage better, and enjoy the spouse that God blessed you with! 🙂  (I am not speaking to issues of abuse or cheating – I am speaking to those who have good spouses but are considering wandering..)

I could go on so I think I’ll do a part two and keep going to till the book comes out.  🙂  Stick with the partner of your youth that God blessed you with!  If you are thinking of straying, think of what attracted you to your spouse to begin with.  Light the fire again!  🙂  Get help if need be, get off the blogs that showcase perfect marriages, talk to real people who have good marriages, read marriage books, and try and put yourself in your partner’s shoes.

I wanted to share this Hillsong worship song “I Surrender” with you all – it’s about surrendering to God in every area!

Blessings,

Lauren

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Lauren is a wife, mother, Jesus-lover, Blogger, Certified Life Coach, Professor, the owner of a Spanish Immersion Christian preschool, and the owner of Lauren’s Lathers, an organic beauty company, (making her own home-made Soaps, Scrubs, Shea Butters, and more!)  She is excited to soon be starting her Professional/Master Esthetics Certification Program this Fall to eventually open a spa for women that will offer a variety of Spa Treatments for the whole woman – (Microderm, facials, waxing, makeup, massage, spray tans, etc.) along with Life Coaching.  She loves Zumba, Pilates, soaking worship, dreaming and goal-setting, the beach, chocolate, berry smoothies, travel, and spending time with her friends, family and children.  Her life’s mission is to be happy, to help others, and to spread God’s love, as well as to be an Author, Motivational speaker, Consultant and Coach – her first book will be available soon at the end of September.  : )

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What if my gift is too small?

17 Jun

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Image courtesy of http://www.freedigitalphotos.net/

With social media, TV, and Facebook, we often see amazing stories of people who are breaking Olympic records, traveling to other countries helping sex-trafficked women and children, and winning all kinds of awards.  Sometimes we are happy for them.  Other times it can make us feel as though we should be doing more.

But we should never compare our gifts to others.  Recently a friend told me about a trip she was taking across the world to help abused women.  I could have been jealous, wishing that I too could travel internationally and make a difference.  But I know that for me, I am making a difference right at home. 🙂

 

Right now, my mission is to make a difference right here in my city by loving my children and the children who come to my preschool.

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Right now, my mission is to love my husband and friends, and be an example to others that marriage still works.  🙂

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Let’s never compare ourselves to others and think that the gifts we can share with others are “too small.”  Not at all. 🙂 Our gifts are just different.  Some gifts may bring fame and fortune, and other gifts may not, but that doesn’t make one better than the other.

Be happy with the gifts that you can share with others.  What is a gift that you can share with others today? : )

 

 

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Lauren is a wife, mother, preschool teacher, tutor and lover of all things natural, even making and selling her own organic beauty products.  She loves Zumba, the beach, coffee, chocolate, berry smoothies, travel, and being silly with her friends, family and children.  Her life’s mission is to be happy, to help others, and to spread God’s love.

 

My Happy, Frugal Thanksgiving Wish

28 Nov

 

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Here is a picture of my hubby and I at a recent wedding.  Like most Thanksgivings, we ate a-lot!lol…  Let’s face it.  For most of us, Thanksgiving is all about the yams, stuffing, turkey, (repeat!lol,) and then passing out in front of the TV to watch football, and starting over.  🙂 Yes, I love to eat too, but let’s not forget to remember the thing we should be most thankful for – all the blessings that our God has given us.

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Here is a picture of some of the food at a recent party I attended – this might look like a simple spread to some, but let’s not forget that there are people out there who don’t know where their next meal is coming from.   We’re upset that we haven’t lost weight, while others are wondering where their next meal is coming from.  While we are busy trying to de clutter, design, and stage our houses, there are people who are wondering how they’ll get toys this Christmas.  (Below is a picture of my son and his friend – we went through the toys and gave many of them away.) 🙂

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So, let’s not get so caught up in the gluttony and materialism, and forget to thank God for the things that really matter – for the things that are eternal.  Set your eyes on things above.  We are on this earth for a short time.  All of the riches, 401K and retirement savings, awards, glory, houses, and things will one day slip through our fingers as we pass on to be with Jesus, the eternal lover of our souls!  Let’s begin living for the things that really matter, and give thanks for the little things! 🙂

Blessings,

Lauren

If you like this post, feel free to follow my blog or to “like” my fan page below.

https://www.facebook.com/pages/Loving-Life/378787838834868

And watch my videos here if you like: :)

http://www.youtube.com/user/TheLholmes79

Date Night with the Hubby – Part One

5 Sep

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Last night, I left the babies with grandma and grandpa, and went on a date night with my husband. We went to Olive Garden and ate the never ending pasta bowl – it was amazing, and there are even leftovers tonight. 🙂

I have talked before about how important it is to spend alone time with your spouse and get away, even if just for a few hours. Although we have been married for almost seven years and have two kids, I believe that it is SO important for us to re-visit the days when it was just the two of us.

 

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Yes; we love our babies, but we also love each other, and time alone helps us to focus on each other and rekindle our love. We laugh, flirt, and act like we’re on our first date. We people watch, joke around, and tell each other about our future dreams.

No; we’re not a perfect couple. We don’t always agree on everything. But I think we’re finally to the point where we realize it’s just less stressful to “agree to disagree,” and go on to the next topic of conversation. 🙂 Trust me, we didn’t start out like this, but we’ve learned it over time. It is so much easier just to accept your differences and not get mad over them.

Marriage can be an amazing thing, and it definitely helps to have alone time. That can be after the kids are in bed, or for a few hours after work. Spend time together where you’re not talking about work or bills. Gaze into each other’s eyes and enjoy each other’s company! Never forget what first attracted you to your spouse!

Look out for part two where I’ll talk about the journey of learning to agree to disagree! 🙂

Blessings,

Lauren

If you’re in the Hampton Roads area, I would love it if you joined us for our next “Bride of Christ Women’s Brunch” – food, fun, & fellowship – on Saturday, October 21st – check back soon for the facebook event page! 🙂

http://www.successcoachingandtutoring.com/Women-s-Ministry-Events.html

If you like this post, feel free to follow my blog or to “like” my fan page below.

https://www.facebook.com/pages/Loving-Life/378787838834868

And watch my videos here if you like: :)

http://www.youtube.com/user/TheLholmes79

*** Do you have dreams that you have yet to accomplish?  Do you know what needs to be done, but you can’t figure out why you’re not doing it?  For years, this was me.  I would love to partner along side of you, and help you to come up with a plan to achieve your goals and dreams!   Let’s connect today!

http://www.successcoachingandtutoring.com

Love pretty jewelry? ME TOO!! Check out my Traci Lynn Fashion Jewelry page – our jewelry is cute, professional, fun, and has that BLING factor that we all love!

http://www.tracilynnjewelry.net/laurenholmes

It’s been a while – what we have been up to!

27 Aug

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I just realized that it has been a few weeks since my last blog, and here’s why: I just started a new job, the kids are getting ready for preschool, and I’ve been getting the house clean!lol…that last one may be an everyday occurrence for some of you, but tidying up doesn’t come naturally for me, so it’s something that I have been working on. 🙂

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We have also been visiting the park more, (especially since it’s right across the street,) 🙂 and I started a new moms group that has some of it’s meetings at night, so I can work and still be a part of it. …So there have been lots of changes, but they are all so much fun!

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I’m also excited about the next women’s conference we’ll be having. So many women feel like they’re “just” a mom, or “just” a call center worker, or “just” someone’s wife”… so many of us feel defined by our jobs, the house we live in, if we have kids or not, or who we’re married to. But God says that we are His daughters, and that we’re fearfully and wonderfully made! He says that we are created in His image, and that makes us so much more than just how we look, who our friends are, or the size of our house.

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I am in the process of getting the date and location for our next event, and I already have some great speakers lined up. I’m excited to see what the Lord does!

Blessings,

Lauren

If you’re in the Hampton Roads area, I would love it if you joined us for our next “Bride of Christ Brunch and Women’s Conference” – food, fun, & fellowship – date to be announced soon!

http://www.successcoachingandtutoring.com/Women-s-Ministry-Events.html

If you like this post, feel free to follow my blog or to “like” my fan page below.

https://www.facebook.com/pages/Loving-Life/378787838834868

And watch my videos here if you like: :)

http://www.youtube.com/user/TheLholmes79

*** Do you have dreams that you have yet to accomplish?  Do you know what needs to be done, but you can’t figure out why you’re not doing it?  For years, this was me.  I would love to partner along side of you, and help you to come up with a plan to achieve your goals and dreams!   Let’s connect today!

http://www.successcoachingandtutoring.com

Love pretty jewelry? ME TOO!! Check out my Traci Lynn Fashion Jewelry page – our jewelry is cute, professional, fun, and has that BLING factor that we all love!

http://www.tracilynnjewelry.net/laurenholmes

Time for a Facebook Break?

5 Jul

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For the past two days, I’ve had two different friends confide in me that they have had to take facebook breaks.  Here was the reason why:

They had begun comparing themselves to others.  They noticed girls who were losing weight faster than them.  They noticed people who seemed to have better lives and better families.  They saw people with two and three kids, when they were struggling to get pregnant.

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Guys; facebook isn’t real.  We post pictures and images that put our best face forward. We usually only share the good.

Or, perhaps, reading through friends annoying updates is causing you in turn to become harsh and critical.

Friends; God’s word tells us to fix our thoughts on things that are pleasant.  So if Facebook is causing you to become negative, it may be time to take a step back.

Take a walk.  Spend time with friends in person.  Call someone you haven’t talked to in awhile.  Stop taking pictures of your kids to post on facebook, and play with them instead. 🙂  Life is meant to be lived, not to be spent surfing facebook while your kids are begging you to read them a story.

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Facebook is great for keeping up with friends or promoting business, but remember that if it is causing comparisons or negativity, then it might be time to limit your use.

Blessings! 🙂

If you’re in the Hampton Roads area, I would love it if you joined us for our “Bride of Christ Brunch and Women’s Conference” – food, fun, fellowship, awesome worship, speakers, and ministry, pampering, and more!! :)

https://www.facebook.com/events/162921290556596/?fref=ts

http://www.successcoachingandtutoring.com/Women-s-Ministry-Events.html

Read more about my health journey here:

http://www.teamvisi.com/laurenholmes/

If you like this post, feel free to follow my blog or to “like” our fan page below.

https://www.facebook.com/pages/Loving-Life/378787838834868

And watch our videos here if you like:

https://lholmes79.wordpress.com/2012/06/06/check-out-my-cool-videos-collection-at-lockerz/3

*** Do you have dreams that you have yet to accomplish?  Do you know what needs to be done, but you can’t figure out why you’re not doing it?  For years, this was me.  I would love to partner along side of you, and help you to come up with a plan to achieve your goals and dreams!   Let’s connect today!

http://www.successcoachingandtutoring.com

Love pretty jewelry? ME TOO!! Check out my Traci Lynn Fashion Jewelry page – our jewelry is cute, professional, fun, and has that BLING factor that we all love!

http://www.tracilynnjewelry.net/laurenholmes

Looking for a fun program that teaches your kids Spanish through art, music, dance and fun interactive games?  Check out our “Spanish for Kids” classes here!

http://www.successcoachingandtutoring.com/Spanish-for-Kids.html

God isn’t just for senior citizens

21 Jun

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If you are a senior citizen, God bless you! 🙂 But some younger people have the idea that God is just for people who are in their 80’s, who wear shoulder pad dresses, and who have bake sales…(don’t get me wrong…I love bake sales and I will buy them out!haha…but this is not the only type of person that God loves.)

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If you think you’re too young or too cool for God, I promise you that God’s love is for everyone, – rich, poor, black, white, old and young. 🙂

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There is a new generation of Christians who love God and are passionate about Him – we have pink hair, tattoos, piercings, holes in our jeans, and don’t all wear khaki pants.  We love travel, culture, languages, and all things new. 🙂  Being a Christian doesn’t equal boring.  Loving God and having a relationship with Him is one of the most exciting things about my life!

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Please ask questions if you have any! 🙂

Blessings!

Lauren

Read more about my health journey here:

http://www.teamvisi.com/laurenholmes/

I hope that you can join us as well as well for an awesome time of worship, ministry, and yummy food.  See you at our second Brides in Training Brunch and Luau: equipping women to be missionaries in their own backyards! :)

http://www.successcoachingandtutoring.com/Brides-in-Training-Brunch.html

If you like this post, feel free to follow my blog or to “like” our fan page below.

https://www.facebook.com/pages/Loving-Life/378787838834868

And watch our videos here if you like:

https://lholmes79.wordpress.com/2012/06/06/check-out-my-cool-videos-collection-at-lockerz/3

*** Do you have dreams that you have yet to accomplish?  Do you know what needs to be done, but you can’t figure out why you’re not doing it?  For years, this was me.  I would love to partner along side of you, and help you to come up with a plan to achieve your goals and dreams!   Let’s connect today!

http://www.successcoachingandtutoring.com

Love pretty jewelry? ME TOO!! Check out my Traci Lynn Fashion Jewelry page – our jewelry is cute, professional, fun, and has that BLING factor that we all love!

http://www.tracilynnjewelry.net/laurenholmes

Looking for a fun program that teaches your kids Spanish through art, music, dance and fun interactive games?  Check out our “Spanish for Kids” classes here!

http://www.successcoachingandtutoring.com/Spanish-for-Kids.html

 

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