Tag Archives: kids

Can Mommies Have fun Too?? – Part Two

15 Jun

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If you missed the first post here about whether or not Mommies can have fun, (or if we should just resign ourselves to a stressed out and chaotic life b/c we have kids,) read here!  : )  Basically, I talked about how since having kids, through trial and error, I’ve finally struck a nice balance between devoted mommy as well as an individual who has fun, friends, travels, romance, and her own life.  It didn’t come easily though – for the first few years of my kids life, I was super busy.  I worked from home for the most part so I was still with them a lot, but I do feel as though the quality aspect of the time spent with them could have been better and more focused.  For example, if I’m loading the dishwasher while watching youtube videos, my kids may be in the room, but I don’t really consider it spending quality time with them.  Now, I try to spend quality time with my kids doing fun things or just hanging out, while also allowing myself on the other hand to have free time apart from them, time with friends, and time with my sweetie to rejuvenate.

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So in this post, I really wanted to share a few ways that I make sure to have fun as an individual/mom/friend/wife/working-woman while still being an involved, hands on and devoted parent who is invested in my children.  Some tips are basic, some are funny, and some are more serious, but they have all worked for me.  So here they are:

1. Check out minimalism – my favorite sites on this are The Minimalists, Becoming Minimalist, and Courtney Carver’s site.  About a year ago, I got rid of everything that I didn’t use or love – that included all clothes I hadn’t worn in a year or didn’t love, house figurines and decorations that needed dusting, all toys that didn’t fit into the few toy boxes that my kids have, and even plates, and silverware – everything literally was on the chopping block to be given away. I literally took like 20 – 30 bags to the Salvation Army, (which also serves as a tax break.)  🙂  I wanted clear counters and uncluttered walls – I wanted to be able to think straight without having a bunch of junk laying around that was stealing my peace and taking up my time to keep up.  The less stuff you have, the less you have to clean and upkeep.  The less dishes you have, the less you have to wash them.  The less clothes you have, the less laundry you have to do.  (I also got rid of most of my kids clothes too except for maybe six of each type of clothes – shorts, jeans, pants, dresses, short sleeves, and long sleeves.)  Basically, if you complain about having to clean it, upkeep it, etc., then get rid of it – problem solved.  : )

(I sold or donated these toys that my children had outgrown – this was probably less than one percent of what I got rid of.)

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2.  Turn the TV off.  I stopped watching TV a while back, and while every now and then I turn it on, for the most part, I never watch it, (except for when friends come over and I have it on then.)  Since I made a choice to stop watching TV two years ago, I started three businesses, decluttered my house, increased my income, have had more time for family and friends, have done lots of interesting and fun outings that I wouldn’t have done if I’d been sitting on the couch, and have been more satisfied overall because I’m not comparing my home to HGTV homes and my life to rich reality TV women.  🙂  Dont’ get me wrong – I LOVE youtube documentaries and shows that actually teach me something like CNBC business shows, and I’ll watch them sometimes after the kids to go sleep for fun.  But apart from that, my TV stays off.  I challenge you to turn the TV off for a month and see how much your life changes for the better, and how much more time you have to devote to friends and family.

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3. If you have young kids, keep all toys in organized boxes and bins.  I say this not because I want my home to look like Pinterest, (I could honestly care less about home decorations and have no decorating skills whatsoever, lol,) but because by limiting the amount of toys my kids have, it eliminates clutter and allows me to think straight.  Also, because everything has its own box, ex: lego box, puppet box, crayon bag, dress up bin, they know how to clean up even from around age three.  I say “clean up,” and I have trained them to put everything back in the proper place, so they can do it themselves.  Don’t get me wrong – I am not a dictator, sometimes I help them clean. 🙂  But the important thing is that they can do it without my help if I’m tired or simply don’t feel like helping on any given day!lol…

4. Nap time or room time.  My kids have to sleep or play quietly for three hours each day.  When friends ask me how I “get my kids to nap,” I simply smile and reply, “it’s not a choice.”  🙂  My kids have to stay in their rooms for three hours and play quietly or nap.

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During that time, I catch up on my 60-150 online college students emails/questions/grading; I blog, answer and write emails, update my facebook/instagram, make my to-do list, get some cleaning done, organize, relax and eat lunch, watch interesting youtube videos, or take a nap myself if its the weekend.  (I don’t do all of these at once; I choose which I want to do.)  🙂

5. Always allow yourself to do things “tomorrow” instead of “yesterday.”  Sometimes I’ll hear the generalization that here on the East Coast, we tend to rush and feel guilty that we should have done things “yesterday,” whereas on the West Coast they relax and do it tomorrow, and don’t feel the least bit guilty.  I’m not sure if that’s true since I’ve never been to the West Coast, but it really brings up an idea that changed my life.  I used to push through to get all ten things done on my to do list in one day, even if it meant having no lunch break, staying up till midnight, forgoing a nap, and ending up stressed.  Recently, I’ve learned that if it doesn’t have to be done, it’s OK to push it back till tomorrow, (or the next day or the next day,) and be totally happy with that decision.  🙂  So long as it’s not something that turns into procrastination or never getting around to, I’ll allow myself a few days of grace.

6. Schedule lots of me time.  I find pockets during the day and week to have free and fun time.  I find teenage homeschool girls who work in the church nursery, Sunday school teacher friends, certified teacher friends who have free nights and weekends, or other mommy friends that I know and trust to babysit the kids, and get them to babysit.  Or, I’ll swap sitting with friends for free, or have one of my babysitters watch my kids in exchange for food or home-made beauty products.  (Come on mamas – we have to get creative!!)  🙂  I always keep a running list four to ten sitters that I know and trust at all times, so anytime that I need a break, I can make sure that my children are well taken care of while I go to the bookstore and read over coffee, get lunch with friends, spend the day with my sweetie, take a long nap, or take the weekend off to visit a college friend.  I personally believe that time alone or away with friends or my spouse energizes, renews, and makes me a better mom.  I’m not sure where moms got the idea that devoting every second to our kids, never doing anything for ourselves, and being a “mommy martyr” to our own demise somehow makes us better moms.

In my own life, it’s been the opposite.  Taking time away to refresh has allowed me to come back rejuvenated and ready to be a better and more involved mom and wife.  I’ll also try and schedule a beauty treatment every two weeks – even if its just a $5 polish change at the nail salon or a warm bath at 9 p.m. after the kids are in bed, treat yourself.  If mom is tired, stressed, stretched thin, and lethargic, it will eventually take a toll.  Moms – we deserve fun time, to be well rested, and to look good!  Do some Zumba at night to stay in shape, paint your nails, send your kids to bed early so Mommy and Daddy can have a romantic night alone – do whatever it takes to invest in yourself.  🙂

I’ll stop for now, and maybe I’ll even do a Part Three!  (After six points, I think people get tired and want to be done reading, so this seems like a good place to stop.)  🙂  I’ll end by saying that my kids mean everything to me – this is why I believe that it’s important for me to develop myself as a whole person instead of dedicating my entire existence to them.  And please don’t get me wrong – I spend lots of time with my children taking them to lessons, reading to them, taking them on trips, to classes, museums, activities, etc, but I also believe that I’m happier when I too likewise have alone time, or time with my sweetie and friends.  I want my daughter to know that when she’s married with kids, she should also take time for herself.  I want both of my kids to know that Mommy and Daddy deserve alone time and fun, (just like they get to have fun, take classes, see their preschool friends, take trips, etc.)  I want my kiddos to know that it’s important for everyone in the family to be well-rested and fulfilled, not just the children.  I want them to think of the well-being of others, and not just their own – I started teaching my kiddos empathy and to think about their situation as compared to those people who have less than them since they were pretty much babies.  Anytime they seem to take on a tone that the world revolves around them, I remind them of children who don’t have toys, who don’t have food, whose parents abuse them, who are child slaves, or who  have to work instead of go to preschool and swim lessons.  I want them to be conscious even from toddlers that everyone in the family matters and should be fulfilled.  Some may wonder if kids can even understand those concepts, but I believe they can – my own kids often remind me to be kinder with my words so that I don’t hurt those around me.  Kids are only limited in understanding if we allow them to be.  🙂  Also, if you are still reading even after all my ramblings, lol, one book that resonated with me when it comes to parenting is the somewhat controversial (at least among American mommy circles) book called “Bringing up Bebe” – while I don’t agree with all the parts, (namely some of the sections on early childhood education,) I found upon reading the book that I have the almost exact same parenting style as the author, and am likewise a (for the most part)  🙂  happy, calm, and relaxed mom like she found herself becoming.

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All that to say that Mommies can have fun.  It is totally, 100 % possible.  It may just involve a mindset shift, careful planning, and implementing a few more things into your life that you weren’t previously doing.  How about you?  How will you be a great mom while still having fun and growing as an individual?  🙂

Blessings,

Lauren

day 1

Lauren is a wife, mother, Jesus-lover, Blogger, certified Life Coach, Professor, the owner of a Spanish Immersion Christian preschool, and the owner of Lauren’s Lathers, an organic beauty company, (making her own home-made Soaps, Scrubs, Shea Butters, and more!)  She is excited to soon be starting her Master Esthetics Program to eventually open a spa for women that will offer a variety of Spa Treatments for the whole woman – (Microderm, facials, waxing, makeup, massage, spray tans, etc.) along with Life Coaching.  She loves Zumba, Pilates, soaking worship, dreaming and manifesting, the beach, chocolate, berry smoothies, travel, and spending time with her friends, family and children.  Her life’s mission  is to be happy, to help others, and to spread God’s love, as well as to be an Author, Motivational speaker, Consultant and Coach – her first book will be available soon, and she will soon be re-launching her Coaching Business, specializing in Business Start up Coaching and Parenting Coaching, so keep an eye out!  : )

Can Mommies have Fun Too?? – Part One

12 Jun

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As my sweet babies sleep soundly, I began to think about something that I often think about – how so often, us Mommies believe that giving up everything for our children, making them our entire existence, and stopping our lives all together to devote all of our time to them somehow makes us better Moms/martyr’s.  But my personal feeling is that this theory doesn’t hold true.  🙂

Yes; I love my babies dearly.  I want them to be happy, involved, well-behaved, God-fearing, cultured little citizens – I want all that good stuff for them and more!

But they aren’t the center of my universe.  Mommy has a life too.  Mommy goes out with her friends, takes girls weekends away, has date nights with Daddy, has lunch with friends, gets mani’s/pedis/massages every now and then, and takes time to eat right and work out.

Mommy also takes the kids to a few weekly lessons, reads to them, spends time with them, makes sure their needs are met, and loves them.  I love being a Mom, and I love my kids.  They know that. 🙂

But I truly believe that part of what’s made me a happy Mom is that I never gave up my personal life and dreams just b/c my kiddos arrived.  After all, one day our children will leave the roost.  Will we have friends and activities of our own?  Will we have spent time with our spouse and grown to love them more?  Will we have devoted time to our own personal growth, and not just devoted every second to our children?  Where does it say that being a good Mother means that the fun and growth has to end?

While my children are so important to me, I want them to realize that balance is healthy, and that they are not the center of the universe.  While I love them, I was not put here to devote my entire existence to them.  We both have lives.  I want them to know that others matter too.  Mommy having her time is important too.  Often, some evenings, they will play quietly while I have “Mommy time” to read or enjoy a long bath or decaf coffee.  While they don’t always like it, 🙂  they know that they are still loved, (as many days, they spend time with me from the time their eyes open till around 5:30 – 7:30 p.m. when Daddy takes over some nights.)  They get plenty of quality time with me, but they also understand that it’s not all about them 24/7.

I recently watched the movie “Moms Night Out,” and while I found it super cute and funny, it made me think.  …Not all moms are stressed out, struggling to balance their times, and overwhelmed.  It is possible to be a calm, relaxed Mom, and still live a fun, balanced life of your own – the stereotype of a frazzled Mom with a dirty home and poorly behaved toddlers screaming and running around breaking things doesn’t have to be a reality.  It provides a good laugh in movies, but it doesn’t mean that it has to be true.  Now please don’t get me wrong – if you don’t enjoy alone time and want to be with your kids doing ‘kid things’ 24/7 and that makes you feel fulfilled, then more power to ya, and no judgement here – we were all created differently – do what God has called YOU to do, and do it for His glory!  🙂   But if you find yourself like I used to be, (wishing that I had more of a balance,) please know that it can be done.

This is something that I struggled with when I first became a Mommy.  I thought that because I was a Mom, that my life would automatically be chaotic, out of order, and stressful, and that I would have no time for myself.  This couldn’t be further from the truth.  It takes some work and intention, but it is possible to have a rich and fulfilling life of your own while still being a Mom and Wife, but I’ll share more about this in Part Two.  (I see that this blog is getting way longer than I’d originally intended, so I’ll share some time management tips and general fun Mommy living tips in the next one.)  🙂  Just know that it can be done – it’s possible to have a balanced life even after the kids come – often, believing that something is possible is the first step, so be encouraged!  🙂

How about you?  I’d love to hear some tips of you how you parent your children well, but still find time for balance, for your spouse, and for fun.  I’d love to include some ideas of your ideas in the next post.  🙂

Blessings,

Lauren

day 1

Lauren is a wife, mother, Jesus-lover, Blogger, certified Life Coach, the owner of a Spanish Immersion Christian preschool, and the owner of Lauren’s Lathers, an organic beauty company, (making her own home-made Soaps, Scrubs, Shea Butters, and more!)  She is excited to soon be starting her Master Esthetics Program to eventually open a spa for women that will offer a variety of Spa Treatments along with Life Coaching.  She loves Zumba, Pilates, soaking worship, dreaming and manifesting, the beach, chocolate, berry smoothies, travel, and spending time with her friends, family and children.  Her life’s mission  is to be happy, to help others, and to spread God’s love, as well as to be an Author, Motivational speaker, Consultant and Coach – her first book will be available soon, and she will soon be re-launching her Coaching Business, specializing in Business Start up Coaching and Parenting Coaching, so keep an eye out!  : )

Finger Painting with Diaper Rash Cream

30 May

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This morning I noticed white paste on the walls, and my daughter was standing there looking guilty. I  put two and two together, and realized that she was finger painting on the walls with diaper rash cream!!lol…

I wanted to laugh but didn’t, (so as not to encourage her…lol,) but it really was funny! She got upset that she had to stop, but she was fine once we cleaned her up and brought out the crayons, coloring books and kitchen set! 🙂

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This morning was a reminder to me to never take life too seriously. I could have fussed and gotten upset and let it ruin my morning, but what would that have accomplished? There are people with much worse problems than diaper rash cream on their walls!!lol…

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There are moms who can’t afford diaper cream, or maybe don’t have a place to live with their kids.

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Today, take the focus off of yourself, and focus on helping others! 🙂

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Here is an opportunity to do just that: we are having a Baby Shower for the Women of the Crisis Pregnancy Center who otherwise might not get a shower – I hope that you’ll consider joining, or donating food, or mommy and baby gifts.

https://www.facebook.com/events/447406908685353/?fref=ts  (Link to sign up for baby shower for Crisis Pregnancy Center)

Blessings! 🙂

Lauren

If you like this post, feel free to follow my blog or to “like” our fan page below.

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*** Do you have dreams that you have yet to accomplish? Do you know what needs to be done, but you can’t figure out why you’re not doing it? For years, this was me. I would love to partner along side of you, and help you to come up with a plan to achieve your goals and dreams! Let’s connect today!

http://www.successcoachingandtutoring.com

Love pretty jewelry? ME TOO!! Check out my Traci Lynn Fashion Jewelry page – our jewelry is cute, professional, fun, and has that BLING factor that we all love!

http://www.tracilynnjewelry.net/laurenholmes

Looking for a fun program that teaches your kids Spanish through art, music, dance and fun interactive games? Check out our “Spanish for Kids” classes here! http://www.successcoachingandtutoring.com/Spanish-for-Kids.html

If you live in the Hampton Roads area and have a business or ministry, I would strongly encourage you to connect with the Shepherd’s Guide at a free lunch and learn, where you will find out how to grow your business, and be seen before thousands! Partnering with them has grown my ministry and brought me some great contacts. 🙂

http://myemail.constantcontact.com/Lunch-is-On-Us-.html?soid=1103058265404&aid=fBTWPuApYU0

Who says Christian parents can’t party???

26 Feb

 

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First of all, I don’t mean an animal house type of party where parents are swinging from the chandeliers…lol…when I say “party,” I mean having a good time, being silly, and enjoying ourselves! 🙂

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During a few of my bridal coaching sessions, a lot of the engaged ladies seem surprised that I have ladies nights out, that my husband and I go out on “date night’s” without the kids up to twice a week, and that I go away for the weekend with friends sometimes.

They often ask, “I thought that once you had kids, the fun ends…”

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I want to debunk that myth! 🙂

Here are a few ways to have fun even after the kids:

1. Plan sitter swaps – they are totally free.  Ex: I watch your kids on Tuesday night, and you watch mine on Friday.  Simple as that… free babysitting, and the best part is, your kids are totally safe, (so you can relax while out,) because you choose another family that you know and trust.  Voila – now you have a built in Friday night out every week! 🙂  (Have a few families that you do this with, or start a group, and you’ll always have free childcare for when you want time away with your spouse or friends.)  🙂

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2. Bring the party to your house!  Instead of spending a whole lot of money eating out and having to worry about the kids acting like crazy animals at a nice restaurant, (lol,) and spending $5 on a kids plate of macaroni and cheese that you could have made for 25 cents at home, 🙂 invite everyone to your house for a party.  Have a movie and toy room set up for the kids complete with snacks and non-messy finger foods, and then the adults can hang out in the next room over, playing games, talking and eating.  Or, make it a potluck – that way, you won’t have to do all the food prep yourself.  I usually make the main course, like some kind of chicken or tacos, and I provide the soda and juice.  Then, everyone else brings a side.

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So the next time that someone says, “oh you’ve got kids…I heard it all goes downhill from there,” please kindly correct them! 🙂

Blessings! :)

 

If you like this post, feel free to follow my blog or to “like” my fan page below.

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And watch my videos here if you like:

https://lholmes79.wordpress.com/2012/06/06/check-out-my-cool-videos-collection-at-lockerz/3

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7oRdKMth_eE

 

***Want to become a better wife, or to prepare for marriage, (regardless of whether you’re single, engaged, dating, or divorced?) Get signed up for my “Brides in Training” class – I’m enrolling now, and it’s for EVERY woman regardless of martial status – for more info, leave a message in the contact section of my website below! :) It’s a fun and interactive class that can be taken in person, via skype, online, or over the phone. Wisdom, fun, and lots of laughs are guaranteed!

http://www.successcoachingandtutoring.com/Brides-in-Training-Coaching.html

 

Testimonial:
“I feel so blessed to have gone through “Brides in Training” coaching with Lauren. There were so many aspects of marriage that I just had not considered before our session.”

Marquita L., after completing a “Brides in Training” coaching session

 

***Or, please consider helping one of our Brides in Need!

 

That don’t impress me much!

25 Feb

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This weekend was my son’s third birthday – what an exciting time of cake, dancing, the limbo, and all around craziness!! 🙂  As I looked at the party guests, I realized something.

 

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We were all different races, ages, and came from different backgrounds.  It reminds me of the scripture in the Bible that says that while man often looks at the outward appearance, God looks at the heart.  I believe this is a great reminder for us all!

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As I was praying this morning, a timely song popped in my head, Shania Twain’s, “That don’t Impress me Much.”  It isn’t necesarily a Christian song, but it has a wonderful message – she is saying that she isn’t impressed by titles, money, or the like – she wants something genuine or authentic.  (She doesn’t use those same words, though!) 🙂

 

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So here are a few questions that I’ll be posing this morning not only to you all, but also to the ladies who are signed up for April’s Brides in Training Seminar:

1. Do you judge others based on the outward appearance?

2. Do you only befriend those who are like you, ex: make the same amount of money, are the same race, live in a nice neighborhood or have nice things?)

So with that in mind, here’s today’s challenge:

In your everyday life, focus less on keeping up the “perfect appearance,” and more on loving and helping others.  B/c all that other stuff doesn’t impress God anyway! 🙂

 

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Blessings! :)

 

If you like this post, feel free to follow my blog or to “like” my fan page below.

https://www.facebook.com/pages/Loving-Life/378787838834868

 

And watch my videos here if you like:

https://lholmes79.wordpress.com/2012/06/06/check-out-my-cool-videos-collection-at-lockerz/3

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7oRdKMth_eE

 

***Want to become a better wife, or to prepare for marriage, (regardless of whether you’re single, engaged, dating, or divorced?) Get signed up for my “Brides in Training” class – I’m enrolling now, and it’s for EVERY woman regardless of martial status – for more info, leave a message in the contact section of my website below! :) It’s a fun and interactive class that can be taken in person, via skype, online, or over the phone. Wisdom, fun, and lots of laughs are guaranteed!

http://www.successcoachingandtutoring.com/Brides-in-Training-Coaching.html

Testimonial:
“I feel so blessed to have gone through “Brides in Training” coaching with Lauren. There were so many aspects of marriage that I just had not considered before our session.”

Marquita L., after completing a “Brides in Training” coaching session

***Or, please consider helping one of our Brides in Need!

 

Having kids doesn’t mean your life ends!!

14 Nov

Here is a picture of me on a date night with my hubby this summer, drinking my favorite Sbux drink – a double chocolate chip frappucino.  Yumm!  …See?  …the fun doesn’t HAVE to end once the kiddies come along!!  🙂

Yesterday, a fellow mom that I know mentioned how a few moms she knew basically admitted that because of their kids, they no longer had a “life.”  🙂  Yes; now the fun must be planned, but since when was planning the worst thing in the world?

Once, (before I had kids,) I asked a boss of mine what changed once the kids came along.  She replied, “well, my husband and I can’t just decide to go to Wal-mart at midnight and walk the aisles…”  I laugh at this not only b/c her example involved Wal-mart, but also b/c it’s true!lol… 😉

One thing that has helped me to still have time for myself (despite having kids) is cutting back on T.V.  For about five days now, I haven’t turned the TV on, and it’s amazing that I was able to get all the work done for my job, as well as organize the whole house.  Don’t forget a moms movie night out, Bible study another night, Zumba before bed, and still having time for the hubby and kids.

And when I went without Facebook and pinterest for a day, the amount of time in my day almost seemed to double! 🙂

For me, there are certainly ways to still have “me” time even though I have kids.  And please note that I believe children are a blessing from God…instead of complaining that our lives are “over” once the kids come, let’s figure out how to better manage our time so that we can enjoy our kids, our lives, our spouses, and our friends!

I am curious to hear how the rest of you do it.  Please share!! 🙂

Blessings!

The book is due out in the Fall of 2012. :)

If you like this post, feel free to follow my blog or “like” my fan page below. :)

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Are you an over-protective parent?

13 Nov

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

While I am in no way a parenting expert, (I’ve only been in the game 2.5 years..lol,) 🙂  I’m always interested in finding a balance between being over or under-protective.

Here are a few rules that I have when it comes to my kids:

1. You can be my best girlfriend in the world, but you’re not watching my kids unless I know and trust your husband too, (and no unknown visitors are allowed in the house while my kids are there.)  I’ve heard horror stories of children being abused by a boyfriend/husband of someone they were staying with.  You never know.  Every time you leave your child around someone you don’t know, you are gambling their safety.

2. On the other hand, I don’t have trouble letting my kids experience a new class, activities, hobbies, etc.  I believe that social interaction is very important.  For example, during gymnastics, my son has to learn to wait his turn, to say sorry when he mistankenly bumps into another child, and to listen to what the teacher says.  All these are skills that I believe will help him to become a better person.

 

 

 

 

 

What about you?  What is your parenting “mantra?” 🙂

Bottom line: we all have different parenting styles and ideas, and that’s OK – the important thing is that our kids are safe, protected and loved! 🙂

Blessings!

The book is due out in the Fall of 2012. :)

If you like this post, feel free to follow my blog or “like” my fan page below. :)

https://www.facebook.com/pages/Loving-Life/378787838834868

And watch my videos here if you like:

https://lholmes79.wordpress.com/2012/06/06/check-out-my-cool-videos-collection-at-lockerz/3

 

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