As my sweet babies sleep soundly, I began to think about something that I often think about – how so often, us Mommies believe that giving up everything for our children, making them our entire existence, and stopping our lives all together to devote all of our time to them somehow makes us better Moms/martyr’s. But my personal feeling is that this theory doesn’t hold true. 🙂
Yes; I love my babies dearly. I want them to be happy, involved, well-behaved, God-fearing, cultured little citizens – I want all that good stuff for them and more!
But they aren’t the center of my universe. Mommy has a life too. Mommy goes out with her friends, takes girls weekends away, has date nights with Daddy, has lunch with friends, gets mani’s/pedis/massages every now and then, and takes time to eat right and work out.
Mommy also takes the kids to a few weekly lessons, reads to them, spends time with them, makes sure their needs are met, and loves them. I love being a Mom, and I love my kids. They know that. 🙂
But I truly believe that part of what’s made me a happy Mom is that I never gave up my personal life and dreams just b/c my kiddos arrived. After all, one day our children will leave the roost. Will we have friends and activities of our own? Will we have spent time with our spouse and grown to love them more? Will we have devoted time to our own personal growth, and not just devoted every second to our children? Where does it say that being a good Mother means that the fun and growth has to end?
While my children are so important to me, I want them to realize that balance is healthy, and that they are not the center of the universe. While I love them, I was not put here to devote my entire existence to them. We both have lives. I want them to know that others matter too. Mommy having her time is important too. Often, some evenings, they will play quietly while I have “Mommy time” to read or enjoy a long bath or decaf coffee. While they don’t always like it, 🙂 they know that they are still loved, (as many days, they spend time with me from the time their eyes open till around 5:30 – 7:30 p.m. when Daddy takes over some nights.) They get plenty of quality time with me, but they also understand that it’s not all about them 24/7.
I recently watched the movie “Moms Night Out,” and while I found it super cute and funny, it made me think. …Not all moms are stressed out, struggling to balance their times, and overwhelmed. It is possible to be a calm, relaxed Mom, and still live a fun, balanced life of your own – the stereotype of a frazzled Mom with a dirty home and poorly behaved toddlers screaming and running around breaking things doesn’t have to be a reality. It provides a good laugh in movies, but it doesn’t mean that it has to be true. Now please don’t get me wrong – if you don’t enjoy alone time and want to be with your kids doing ‘kid things’ 24/7 and that makes you feel fulfilled, then more power to ya, and no judgement here – we were all created differently – do what God has called YOU to do, and do it for His glory! 🙂 But if you find yourself like I used to be, (wishing that I had more of a balance,) please know that it can be done.
This is something that I struggled with when I first became a Mommy. I thought that because I was a Mom, that my life would automatically be chaotic, out of order, and stressful, and that I would have no time for myself. This couldn’t be further from the truth. It takes some work and intention, but it is possible to have a rich and fulfilling life of your own while still being a Mom and Wife, but I’ll share more about this in Part Two. (I see that this blog is getting way longer than I’d originally intended, so I’ll share some time management tips and general fun Mommy living tips in the next one.) 🙂 Just know that it can be done – it’s possible to have a balanced life even after the kids come – often, believing that something is possible is the first step, so be encouraged! 🙂
How about you? I’d love to hear some tips of you how you parent your children well, but still find time for balance, for your spouse, and for fun. I’d love to include some ideas of your ideas in the next post. 🙂
Blessings,
Lauren
Lauren is a wife, mother, Jesus-lover, Blogger, certified Life Coach, the owner of a Spanish Immersion Christian preschool, and the owner of Lauren’s Lathers, an organic beauty company, (making her own home-made Soaps, Scrubs, Shea Butters, and more!) She is excited to soon be starting her Master Esthetics Program to eventually open a spa for women that will offer a variety of Spa Treatments along with Life Coaching. She loves Zumba, Pilates, soaking worship, dreaming and manifesting, the beach, chocolate, berry smoothies, travel, and spending time with her friends, family and children. Her life’s mission is to be happy, to help others, and to spread God’s love, as well as to be an Author, Motivational speaker, Consultant and Coach – her first book will be available soon, and she will soon be re-launching her Coaching Business, specializing in Business Start up Coaching and Parenting Coaching, so keep an eye out! : )
Loving Life 